Wednesday, April 30, 2008

My X Hurts

I'm a teacher, right? Okay, so even though I'm responsible for my 18 kids throughout the day, I can't take care of their every need even though they expect me to. What the hell am I supposed to say to a kid who approaches me (as one did today) and says, "Ms. M, my tooth hurts."

In my nice moments I say something like, "I'm sorry, honey, but there's not really much I can do about your toothache. Did you tell your mom this morning?"

In my, uh, less nice moments, I say something like, "And?"

Seriously, kid, what do you want me to do? Now it's been 11 of years of teaching and I've heard about all kinds of aches and pains, most of which I can do nothing about. So unless you are visibly hurt (like your arm is bent between your wrist and your elbow), or you have a fever I can judge without a thermometer, or you are throwing up in the garbage can, there's not much I can do for ya.

A couple things I have learned about children's ailments are:

-having a child put their head down on their desk or lay down in the library for 20 minutes seems to cure most illnesses.

-bandaids work wonders, even for cuts that aren't bleeding.

-an upcoming recess cures most (if not all) illnesses.

Countdown: 30 days!

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