The Name Game

Being pregnant, I realize that in 23 or so weeks, my husband and I will be responsible for naming our child. This is big. This is something that will affect their future in infinite ways. It will effect how others view my child as well as how they view themselves. Therefore, I pay super-close attention to people's names; I read baby-name books, visit baby-name websites, read all the credits from movies, etc.

Working in a school, I have access to hundreds and hundreds of names. Great resource, right? Actually, no. 99.8% of our student population is black, so the name pool available to me is not typical of our society. It is typical of the African-American society, of which I am not part.

Don't get me wrong, some names of my students are "typical" American names, such as Leslie, Matthew, Lee, Daniel, and Lauren. These are, in fact, a little too mainstream for me. I'm trying to go for something a little less run-of-the-mill.

There are the names at the other end of the spectrum: names that are typically only African-American, like DeAngelo, Antoine, Terell, Jamel, Aquinetta, Lashawna, etc. I have to rule these out, too. Not that they're terrible names, but I am having a white baby after all.

Then there are names that crack me up. It's not that they are ugly names or anything, but they are NOUNS and sound funny as names to me. These are names that I have heard this year alone. Some are in my class, some are just in my school: Mystery, Destiny, Heaven, Mahogany, and Symphony.

A couple of months ago, this was an announcement on our P.A. system. I swear: "Mystery and Destiny, please report to the main office." I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I just sounded so...existential.

Return of the Past

It happened. I was at Jiffy Lube yesterday getting my oil changed (duh) when the woman ringing me up asked me if I used to work at X X school. Immediately I went into observation mode. I studied her eyes, her voice, anything that might give me a clue as to who this person is. I got nothing. (I give myself some slack though. I worked at that school from 1997-1999).

I told her yes, I did work at that school. She replied with, "You were my fourth grade teacher!" I asked her her name and it did sound familiar. I got home and looked at my file of class pictures (yes, I kept them all) and there she was. 1998-1999. Which makes her 19 or 20 years old right now. She looks exactly the same. Okay, taller, but mostly the same.

As I look at these 2 years of pictures from this first school I ever taught at, I'm surprised at 2 things: how well I remember some students and how little I remember other students.


I remember Lauren because she once wrote on her desk that I'm a bitch.
I remember Jihad because he was the first person who observed Ramadan that I'd ever met.
I remember Mark because he was a pain in my ass for an entire year.
I remember Shirley because she was brilliant and could have probably handled 8th grade work.
I remember Adrienne because she witnessed her mom being murdered (true story).
I remember Stanley because his mom was mentally ill and he was pretty much neglected.


If I think about it hard enough, I remember something about every single student. I may not be able to identify each one on sight, but each one of them is in my memory somewhere when I see their picture.

I guess that's why I kept them all.

Not Enough Information

Something I love about kids is that they haven't acquired a lot of information yet. This leads them to say things that don't make sense or aren't entirely true. However, they think it's true because it falls in line with the information they do have (known as "schema" in the education world).

Now I'm not saying that I make fun of them when they make mistakes like this. I don't. They can't be expected to know as much as an adult. They're still "works in progress" (hell, we're all "works in progress!"), but when they say something that is nonsensical or just plain wrong, I can't help but be amused.

Today, one of my boys complained that another boy called him something homosexual. (Yes, this is the kind of crap I deal with daily). I called the other boy to me and asked him if this was true. The boy admitted that, yes, he did call him something homosexual. I asked him what he called him. His reply: "masturbator."

Hee-hee...I guess there are a LOT of homosexuals then!

What's in a Name?

I recently read an article that discussed the changing trend in the naming of schools. In the past, most schools were named after people. The newest trend is to name schools after natural features, such as "mesa" or "lakeside," etc. The reason for the new trend is to avoid controversy. While Andrew Jackson may have done some important things in office, he was a slave owner and banished all Native Americans to Oklahoma. Therefore, naming a school after our fourth president is not a good idea anymore.

A couple of days ago, my kids were reading an article in their Scholastic News Magazine about an elementary school in Brooklyn that...to be honest, I don't remember what they did...improved test scores, stopped gang violence....something like that. What I do remember is that the school was called "Boody Elementary School." Now say it aloud.

At first I thought we were going a bit overboard by changing the way we name our schools to avoid controversy. Now I'm thinking it may be a good idea after all.